I know, I'm late...

Sorry for the long delay between updates lately. I'm trying to think of entertaining things to write about here and also trying to think of a good idea for an article elsewhere. So currently I'm looking at ideas and deciding exactly what might deserve to be the focus of my piss and vinegar for your entertainment on two fronts.

Rest assured dear FTWN readers, I will have a real update soon for you.

As always in these updates, here is a stupid picture I had on my phone.



That man will end you!

Smooches,
Matteus


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Japan Devastated Because... God’s a Prick?

So, for the last few days I’ve been trying to write something about the disaster currently plaguing Japan. It’s tough for me writing about something so awful because on one hand I want to address the problem, but on the other I need to make sure that what I say doesn’t come off as insensitive. Thankfully, there are people with a larger media presence than myself who were willing to set the bar quite high (thanks Mr. Gottfried!) However, while Gilbert made some jokes in poor taste, effectively ending his career as the beloved - and not annoyingly screechy - Aflac duck, there is one man who went a step further, a man I never thought I’d be using as a launching point. That man is...

Glenn -fucking- Beck.

War and Peace: Celebrity Edition!

Hello everyone, welcome back to FTWN. Sorry for the extended hiatus but this last surgery took a lot out of me and I just have not been able to write anything outside of “OHMYGODMYCHESTHURTSWHATDIDYOUDOTOMEAUGHHHHH!!!!!?!?!?” Now that it’s been a few weeks I can finally take a few minutes to jot down some thoughts for a proper update. Thanks to all of you who were with me along the way - now, on to the loud-mouthed ranting and raving.

As many of you who have ever momentarily glanced at this blog may know, I am a big fan of getting pissed off at celebrities, finding the greatest amount of amusement in the bigger the fuck-up by the more undeserving of our elevated brothers and sisters. If the news is going to do nothing but shove shitty celebrity gossip down our throats then I’m going to react to it. [And yes, I know there are more important things going on but do you really want another article on how Gaddafi is bull-nuts fucking insane?]

So today I’ve decided to take some of the celebrities who are out there and declare my current stance on them. A lot of them out there either are undeserving of their status, are abusing it, or are just too fucked up to be allowed to continue on their current course, while others - philanthropic as they may not be, intelligent as the fail to be - are only doing what we expect them to and don’t really deserve a lot of the negativity heaped on them.

Now, let’s get to it. These celebrities won’t declare war on themselves...