Children typically piss me off anymore. They just seem to be turning from precocious little scamps to pint-sized obnoxious little narcissists. And why shouldn’t they? There are a lot of shitty parents who don’t pay attention to what is going on in their kids lives, and believe in the “TV-sitter” philosophy. These kids are given what they want so they’ll just shut the fuck up most of the time.
So I’m typically one of the first to shout that parents need to involved in their kids lives, regardless of my opinion meaning absolute dick since I have no kids of my own (I just like to shout things, and bunnies.) However, I received a text message this morning from a friend regarding a new law some Floridian jagoff is trying to pass that would grade parents on their ‘involvement.’ But, you may be asking, isn’t this a good thing? Isn’t this a way to make sure parents become more involved in their child’s life? The answers are: “No,” and “Seriously, no. Now shut the fuck up and let me explain.”
Under the bill (HB 255), filed by Florida Rep Kelli Stargel (R-Lakeland) teacher’s would give parents a grade based on how well they do things such as responding to meeting requests, helping their children with their homework and preparedness, even going so far as to offer a grade based on physical preparedness which covers the parent giving their kids healthy, balanced meals and making sure the child gets a good night’s sleep.
So while this looks like a good thing, it’s actually quite stupid. These are things parent’s should be doing anyway, and if they’re not doing it how is it the right of a teacher to judge? For instance, just because a parent can’t make PTA meetings, or parent/teacher conferences it doesn’t mean they aren’t involved or don’t want to be, there could be other obligations keeping them from attending. The teacher has no place in criticizing how good a job a parent is doing because they aren’t involved in the everyday, big picture of the family.
Also, it would give some parents, who already are competing for some fucking imaginary “world’s greatest parent” award, actual scores. It’s bad enough that kids tend to bicker and brag about the pettiest of things, now we’re going to let parents revert to this too? Yeah great idea, now block parties will consist of bitchy soccer-mom types whispering to each other, “Did you hear about Jane? She got a “Needs Improvement” when it comes to chaperoning field trips.”
Guess what? Jane is a single mom who works two jobs and really wants to be there, but she decided allowing her kid to eat might be more important.
The thing is, outside of the ‘grades’ the parents would receive (“Satisfactory,” “Needs Improvement,” or “Unsatisfactory”), there is no consequence to receiving unsatisfactory except perhaps a slight scolding, or maybe the parents part of the report card wouldn’t go up on the grandparent’s refrigerator.
The bill itself is full of common-sense shit that any parent should do such as making sure homework is done, discussing where a student could use improvement in parent/teacher conferences. But also has some wonderful ideas such as: “Establish a home environment that supports the child as a student.” Well fuck, there goes my hope of raising my kids in an environment that supports them as cheap labor. It also calls for informational packets which must have a signed verification of receipt to teach parents how to be more involved - which most likely won’t be read by the parent’s who aren’t involved, and won’t be needed by the ones that are.
I will admit that the ideas behind the bill, getting parents more involved, are sound. Overall though, outside of abuse, it is not the teacher’s job to criticize a parent for... well any reason really. This bill just seems like Kelli Stargel’s own crusade for her “Greatest Parent of FOREVER” award.
Oh Florida, you never cease to amuse me. Shall we grade your performance in the last two presidential elections?
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